Morpheus Coaching

I am intrigued to know at what stage in our development we start using eye accessing cues.  I ran an experiment with my three year old son, Jack, this morning and it worked perfectly.

I asked him three questions about Scooby Doo and observed his eye movements. Here is what happened.

“Jack, what colour is Shaggy’s t-shirt?” - His eyes went straight up and to the right (as I looked at him) and he said “that colour”, pointing to something green.

“It is, you’re right Jack. What does Scooby’s laugh sound like?” He looked to the side and right and then did his best  ”hee hee hee hee” impression! Scooby Doo\’s hee-hee-hee laugh

“Ha, ha he sounds just like that Jack. Do you like watching Scooby Doo?” His eyes immediately dropped as he thought, then said “yes, I like Scooby wah!” (Wah is Jack’s word for scary monsters).

Jack’s developing pretty typically for three and he accessed the cues with a deliberateness that he couldn’t possibly have ‘put on’ at his age.

What are your experiences?

Here’s a really useful way of explaining the NLP eye accessing cues., couresty of You tube!

What do you think?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rl9sOYPT5UY 

I created the title of this posting with care. I expect there will be many people ‘googling’ those words or similar in order to get some advice for ways of acheiving this.

The fact is, truly difficult people are, luckily enough, very rare. Difficult behaviour however is far more frequently encountered.

What I mean, is that by labelling someone as a difficult person you are making a statement about their identity and as that equates to mission, we are making the judgement that part of their mission in life is to be difficult to others. Hmmm, whilst I guess there are some people who fit that description, I think there are far more people who, by their behaviours (actions and inactions) create difficult situation.

So what difference does it make?

Lots I’d say. Raising an issue about ‘the way someone is…’ generally takes the form of ‘BLAME’. Talking to someone about the effects and impact of their behaviour in a situation generally talks about ‘what comes out of the situation’ - i.e. ‘OUTCOMES’.

So, by re-framing from ‘blame frame’ to an ‘outcome frame’, it is possible and easier  on the emotions to have a ‘difficult conversation with a person’ rather than having to have a ‘conversation with a difficult person’.

Has the latest UK Budget hyke on tobacco made you want to stop smoking?

Have you had a ’scary’ conversation with your GP or other health professional about the risks to your health if you continue to smoke?

Do you want to be able to stop but don’t know how to go about it?

Have you tried to stop smoking more than once and still end up smoking?

When I heard the budget I could just imagine the conversations going on between smokers in pubs, homes and at work about it being ‘time to give up’, or ” I just can’t afford it anymore, I’ll have to quit!”

Here are some tips (no pun intended!) on how to prepare to succeed in your efforts to filter tobacco products OUT of your life (pun intended!!!!).

1.  Don’t aim to give up smoking - instead plan to live healthily -
   Reason being, ‘giving up’ is an example of ‘moving away from’ something and is a weaker outcome than ‘moving toward’ a desired state.
2. Smoking is a combination of ‘rituals’ that, if simply cut out will conspire against you in your attempts to become an ex-smoker, recognise them and ensure that when you stop smoking you keep a sense of ritual.
   Just about every aspect of cigarette smoking is ritualistic; here’s just a couple:
   1. The pre-smoking triggers connected to the end of a meal, answering the telephone, preparing to drink a coffee, having alcohol
   2. Taking the cigarette out of the packet, knocking it and placing it in your mouth - even more so for those who ‘roll their own’ as the ritual includes meticulous preparation of the cigarette itself
   3. The first draw after lighting
   4. The deep breath associated with inhaling the smoke
   5. stubbing out the butt -
      if you are sceptical about my  observations about rituals,  just watch the elaborate ways some people do these and if you smoke, pay very close attention to the WAY you smoke.

      Replace rituals by doing things like this:
      BREATHE DEEPLY and enjoy the sensation of that breath (as you would if smoking MINUS the cigarette!)
      If replacing cigarettes with gum for instance, make a ritual out of taking the gum from its packet and out of its wrapper
      If you HAD smoke breaks, take FRESH AIR breaks

3. Instead of tryingto give up - ritualise ACTUALLY giving up -burn your cigarettes for instance (wihout inhaling them at the same time of course!!!)

You can also use hypnosis - guided or self-hynosis and/or use a life coach to work with you to BECOME AN EX SMOKER