How do I change my behaviour? January 31, 2008
Posted by Vincent in Assertiveness, Business coaching, Coaching in general, Executive Coaching, Life Coaching.trackback
This is a common enough question; generally answered with one or more suggestions around adopting another behaviour instead. That might work for some people although I tend to agree with Einstein when he said that a problem cannot be solved at the level to which it exists.
Behaviour is one of six Neurological Levels, as defined by Robert Dilts. So, to change behaviour you might need to consider going up a level (or two) or down a level in order to find a possible solution.
One level up from behaviour is CAPABILITY (I take that as including kills, knowledge, attitudes, state and experiences) and above that IDENTITY (who I am). By considering what beliefs or limiting beliefs surround the behaviour it is most likely to be a more successful behaviour change if the limiting belief changed, or a new belief could be found.
Similarly below Behaviour is ENVIRONMENT (this includes the physical/virtual environment and the atmosphere). What changes to a behaviour might occur if the environment was different?
Let’s have your experiences and I will work this idea up further in my next posting.
but i am fighting with family both physicaly and mentaly and i don’t like. this has been going on for five years or more please give some stradigies to help with my behaviour.
It will depend on knowing lots more about your situation Josh. A life coach would spend time listening to your explanation of the situation and have you identify exactly what you want to achieve. That creates the focus for the coaching relationship – providing support to you without removing your responsibility for bringing about the change.