Morpheus Coaching

I created the title of this posting with care. I expect there will be many people ‘googling’ those words or similar in order to get some advice for ways of acheiving this.

The fact is, truly difficult people are, luckily enough, very rare. Difficult behaviour however is far more frequently encountered.

What I mean, is that by labelling someone as a difficult person you are making a statement about their identity and as that equates to mission, we are making the judgement that part of their mission in life is to be difficult to others. Hmmm, whilst I guess there are some people who fit that description, I think there are far more people who, by their behaviours (actions and inactions) create difficult situation.

So what difference does it make?

Lots I’d say. Raising an issue about ‘the way someone is…’ generally takes the form of ‘BLAME’. Talking to someone about the effects and impact of their behaviour in a situation generally talks about ‘what comes out of the situation’ - i.e. ‘OUTCOMES’.

So, by re-framing from ‘blame frame’ to an ‘outcome frame’, it is possible and easier  on the emotions to have a ‘difficult conversation with a person’ rather than having to have a ‘conversation with a difficult person’.